How do I Call a Power Query M Function from a DAX Measure?

The post by v-chuncz-msft doesn't technically answer the question I asked, but it's close enough.  I think the point is that I'm going to need to create a custom visualization to do what I need.  It's possible I may have asked a "bad question"...  If I become aware of a better solution later, I will try to update this thread.